(click on image to zoom in)

The six-hour, two-day course includes a breakfast-type meal.

Saturday, October 1st and 8th ▪ 10:00 to 1:00pm
Saturday, October 15th and 22nd ▪ 10:00 to 1:00pm
Saturday, October 29th and November 5th ▪ 10:00 to 1:00pm
Saturday, November, 12th and 19th  ▪ 10:00 to 1:00pm

Maximum Number of Participants  25

Minimum Number of Participants  8

4 Full Scholarships Based on Financial Need per Course

For Pasadena Residents Only 

Instructor:  Director Maggie O’Farrill

By Patricia Prieto

Good Manners: Always in Style

The rules of social etiquette diminish violence because people live in more harmony, says one expert

Good manners affect all aspects of an individual’s life. These set the social norms for behavior among all members of a society.

Given the recent news on bad behavior and ill-treatment of students toward their teachers and classmates, one question comes to mind: Have parents forgotten to teach their children good manners and conduct?

Maggie O’Farrill, etiquette instructor for more than a decade in Los Angeles, maintains that indeed, they have.

“Parents and society have ceased to teach children good manners because they think it is out of style”, says the Mexican national, ex-director of the Academy for Personal Development whose deceased mother, Margarita O’Farrill, founded in the 60’s in Mexico and Los Angeles.

O’Farrill explains that social etiquette was left forgotten since the Vietnam War and a notion that learning good manners created a phony individual.

“To raise children with good manners is good for the man of tomorrow and for society as a whole because good manners avoid accidents, discussions, rudeness, misunderstandings, and above all, it lessens violence because people live with more harmony and order”, assures the author of Manners to the Point.

Just in time for back to school, O’Farrill maintains that this is the ideal moment for parents to teach their children the basic tips to good manners.

To greet and say goodbye with respect to teachers and classmates is one of the first manners our young people should learn.

“These are simple actions of good etiquette that are instilled in children with the daily practice of greeting respectfully and kindly to people who visit our home…and even with a reminder to them that they should greet us each morning when they awake”, explains the expert in social etiquette.

This action needs to be reciprocated, stresses the interviewee, because children learn by the example of their parents.

To give thanks, to respect another’s personal space, to touch or take a given object with permission of it’s owner are other habits of good etiquette that young people should learn from an early age. These habits, according to O’Farrill, prevent unpleasantness and fights among school children.

“It is known that good manners help to reduce violence and bullying, which is even more common with this generation”.

In her book, the Pasadena resident explains everything from how to present oneself to how to communicate with self confidence and to how to be a good host or hostess.

O’Farrill offers practical classes on social etiquette during the year to boys and girls ages 6-12 through the Pasadena Department of Parks and Recreation.

For information about the classes (626) 675-1514

www.learningmanners.com

SPANISH VERSION:

Los buenos modales afectan todos los aspectos de la vida de un individuo. Estos marcan las pautas del comportamiento entre todos los miembros de una sociedad.

Ante las frecuentes noticias sobre la mala conducta y el maltrato que estudiantes dan a sus maestros y compañeros de salón, salta a la cabeza la pregunta: ¿se han olvidado los padres enseñarle a sus hijos buenos modales, buena conducta?

Maggie O’Farrill, instructora de etiqueta por más de una década en Los Ángeles, sostiene que sí.

“Los padres y hasta la misma sociedad han dejado de enseñarle a los niños los buenos modales por pensar que están pasados de moda”, dice la originaria de México, ex directora de la Academia de Desarrollo Personal que su fenecida madre, Margarita O’Farril, fundó por los años 60 en México y en Los Ángeles.

O’Farrill asegura que se dejó de enseñar etiqueta social a partir de la guerra del Vietnam y del concepto generalizado de que inculcar modales era criar personas fingidas, no reales.

“Criar niños con buenos modales es benéfico para el hombre del mañana y toda la sociedad, porque los buenos modales evitan los accidentes, las discusiones, la descortesía, los malentendidos y, sobre todo, disminuye la violencia porque la gente vive con más armonía, más orden”, asegura la autora del libro Buenos modales a su alcance.

En plena temporada de regreso a la escuela, O’Farrill sostiene que es el momento ideal para que los papás enseñen a sus hijos los modales básicos de educación.

El saludar y despedirse con respeto de maestros y compañeros de clase es uno de los primeros modales que deben aprender los menores.

“Son acciones sencillas de buena educación que se inculcan a los hijos con la práctica diaria de saludar con respeto y amabilidad a las personas que visitan nuestra casa… y hasta con solo decirles que, como sus padres, nos deben de saludar cada mañana al despertar”, explica la experta en etiqueta social.

La acción debe ser recíproca, puntualiza la entrevistada, porque los niños aprender con el ejemplo de los padres.

El dar las gracias, respetar el espacio de los demás, tocar o tomar un objeto con el permiso previo de su propietario son otros hábitos de buena educación que deben aprender los menores desde temprana edad. Estas costumbres, según O’Farill, previenen disgustos y peleas entre los escolares.

“Se sabe que los buenos modales ayudan a reducir la violencia y el llamado bulling [acoso, burla o agresión física y psicológica] que se está dando tanto entre los estudiantes de esta generación”.

En su libro –que va en su segunda edición–, la residente de Pasadena explica desde cómo presentarse y comunicarse con seguridad hasta cómo ser un buen anfitrión. También explica cómo saludar con la clásica estrechada de manos y cómo hay que hablar manteniendo contacto con los ojos de las otras personas.

O’Farrill ofrece durante el año clases prácticas de etiqueta social a niños y niñas de 6 y 12 años a través del Departamento de Servicios Humanos y Recreación de Pasadena.

Información sobre las clases en (626) 675-1514.

Saturday, May 7th and 14th
Saturday, May 21st and 28th

Saturday, June 11th and 18th
Monday and Wednesday, 27th and 29th

Saturday, July 9th and 16th
Tuesday and Thursday, July 19th and 21st

Saturday, August 6th and 13th
Tuesday and Thursday, August 16th and 18th
Tuesday and Thursday, August 23rd and 25th

For the Spring and Summer 2011 information and how to register, please click on the following link:

Well_Mannered_Children_Spring_Summer

Etiquette Classes For Kids

The City of Beverly Hills Recreation and Parks Department presents the 10th anniversary edition of its popular course in good manners – Etiquette and Social Graces – by etiquette instructor and author Maggie O’Farrill.

The course is open to children aged 6-12 and will take place over two sessions. Sat. May 19 and May 26 from 10am to 1pm at Ruth’s Steak House (food will be served) at 224 S. Beverly Dr. The cost for residents is $78 and non-residents $98.

Additional courses will be offered at the same place and same time on July 14 and 21, July 24 and 26 and August 3 and 4.

The course covers the basics of good manners and social skills needed by children to interact successfully. It offers children tips on social interaction that help boost self-esteem and confidence. Topics covered include: Introductions and first impressions, body language and poise, speaking and listening skills, restaurant manners, table settings, and way to eat even the most challenging foods in formal situations.
Course instructor Maggie O’Farrill has more than 20 years experience in personal development and social  skill training. “It is important that children know why these rules are important, and not just that rules need to be obeyed. Children love the fun environment and are eager to incorporate what they learn into their daily lives. Parents are always appreciative of how much their children take away from class,” O’Farrill said.

O’Farrill is the founder and President of Practical Social Etiquette and the Web site www.learningmanners.com. She is featured in the special features section of the Warner Bros. film WHAT A GIRL WANTS and is the author of the forthcoming Maggie O’Farrill’s Good Manners on the Go.
For information or reservations call 310-550-4625 or email cbest@beverlyhills.org

At this etiquette class at Horace Mann Elementary School in Beverly Hills last week, Eric Arzoian, 10, awkwardly pushed a triangle-shaped bite of waffle into his mouth using a fork he held in his left hand.

“We do it differently at home,” said Eric, who was perplexed because he is used to cutting his food, putting his knife down and taking the fork with his right hand before using it to eat.

But Beverly Hills’ new etiquette master, Maggie O’Farrill, prefers children unlearn the American style of utensil use in lieu of the continental method used in europe.

“[The American style] is much noisier in a large room,” and is therefore bad for ambience, O’Farrill said.

Recently hired by the Beverly Hills Recreation and Parks Department, O’Farrill, 50, who lives in the South Bay, teaches special etiquette classes at elementary schools in the city, though the classes are open to people from all over Los Angeles. The class is for children age 7 to 12 and costs $70 for Beverly Hills residents and $88 for non-city residents.

Chris Best, senior recreation supervisor for the city Recreation and Parks Department, said the city decided to offer the classes because so many parents requested it. And the children seem to respond, despite having to attend two, three hour lessons.

Indeed, O’Farrill is so congenial it’s hard to imagine anyone she couldn’t disarm with politeness.

The niece of the former Irish consul general to Mexico, O’Farrill grew up in Mexico, City going to political social affairs where good manners were of the utmost importance.

When she was 11, her mother, Margarita O’Farrill, move the family to Los Angeles when she got a job as an etiquette expert in local Spanish broadcast media, later opening a self-title etiquette school downtown.

“You have five seconds to make a good first impression,” Maggie O’Farrill told her class of eight children last week, “Always smile, make eye contact, say ‘hello,’ ask the person’s name and call them by their name. A person’s favorite word is their name.”

O’Farrill explained to the children the pecking order of handshakes: the older person always offers their hand to the younger person and the girl to the boy, but the rules change when there are titles involved.

Males should always stand up from the table when shaking hands, women should only stand up when they’re meeting someone who is a president, a religious leader or someone very old.

“What about a celebrity?” queried Tatiana Broukil, 8. “If Shaquille O’Neal wanted to shake my hand would I stand up?”

“No,” responded O’Farrill.

Children must overcome a natural inclination to talk only about themselves in conversation, she told the class.

“Ask questions, listen, ask a few more questions on the same subject,” she said.

“I like the beach too!” one child yelled out during the listening exercise, before realizing he has just broken the rule.

Other exercises include how ladies should walk and proper phone etiquette.
Parents, Do your children do this at the table?

Though some may find that Angelenos are polite, compared to infamously rude New Yorkers- you never know when someone really wishes you would just drop dead, some from foreign countries feel etiquette lessons here are long overdue.

O’Farrill’s classes recently garnered the attention of The London Times, whose readership is famous for touting their proper behavior over the American barbarians: “Children who do the right thing; California children are abandoning the beach in favor of etiquette lessons,” the headline reads.

The article goes on to describe Los Angeles as “the kind of place where even the children have full social diaries and are ferried from one engagement to the next in gas-guzzling Sport Utility Vehicles. When the diary is empty there is always skateboarding, surfing and splashing around in backyard swimming pools.”

The article goes on to say, “It seems incongruous that in the land of the hamburger, children should be learning evolved dining manners.”

But some of the children in O’Farrill’s class are familiar with food other then hamburgers.

When asked where is his favorite place to eat, Eric responded by asking, “Which Cuisine?”

“Mine is Le Petit Four on Sunset,” chimed in etiquette classmate Blake Broukhil 10. “They know my dad there.”

By Rachel Humphreys BBC News, Los Angeles

The after-school activities are under way at a typical elementary school on the outskirts of San Diego.

But for the first-graders of Heritage Elementary, today’s lesson doesn’t concern the vagaries of the baseball field or how to navigate the latest computer game, but how to eat soup correctly.

Old-fashioned charm schools may be the thing of a by-gone era but here in California, the latest trend for pre-teens is etiquette classes.

“Now, let me see you scoop,” instructs tutor Maggie O’Farrill.

“Elbows in, you’re doing great.”

Children are learning table manners

Words of encouragement to the 20 children who sit with formal place-settings laid out before them.

Ms O’Farrill, an etiquette consultant who specialises in teaching children aged six to 12, says the demand for the classes is on the increase.

Parents are rushing to sign their children up to learn such skills as basic table manners, how to make a good first impression, and the dos and don’ts of eating at a restaurant.

She believes the demand is a result of a fast-paced lifestyle with busy parents wanting well-behaved children, but not having the time to teach them the intricacies of good manners and etiquette at home.

“I just don’t have time to teach him everything,” says working mother Glory Capati.

“I rely on the teachers to help me mould my son and make him a better person.”

Good behaviour

Principal Tim Suanico believes it is a sad reflection of our modern lives that it’s now necessary to teach etiquette in school.

“Over generations, it’s been less and less addressed within the American culture, and because of that it has got lost and hasn’t been made a priority.”

But he does see a glimmer of hope in this renewed interest in teaching children good manners.

If I get invited to the White House, I won’t spill anything on the president-Danny, aged nine

“If it gets revived and brought to the conscious level of the younger parents, then we’ll have children growing up who value manners. Maybe we’ll see a change in direction for the better in our society.”

Teacher Patricia Cano, who has seen first-hand the benefits of the etiquette classes in her first-graders, says: “One of the main things they learn is respect.

“They respect their personal space in the classroom and they just try to treat everyone nicely.

“I heard one of my students say ‘Say it with a smile’, and I just thought that was so beautiful.”

The children are convinced about the significance of their newly acquired skills.

As Jericho, aged seven, is quick to point out: “It’s important – so you can be responsible.”

“It makes me feel special,” adds Eddy, aged six.

But for Danny, aged nine, one thing is certain: “If I get invited to the White House, I won’t spill anything on the president.”

Feb. 20, 2002

Sitting In his chair with near-perfect posture, he carefully picks up the basket of bread and offers a roll to those seated on either side of him before taking one for himself. He then breaks off a small piece of bread and carefully butters it.

Trying to spark some conversation, he announces to the table, “I can’t wait for the ice cream.”

For second-grader Drew Von Bergen his after-school social grace and etiquette class is more than just a class about manners– it’s a chance to have some snacks.

“My favorite part of the class is the ice cream and waffles,” Drew said. “We pretend the waffles are steak and cut them with a knife and fork.”

Drew, 8 is one of several children enrolled in an etiquette class offered by the Manhattan Beach Parks and Recreation Department. Maggie O’Farrill instructor of the etiquette course, said this class teaches children the importance of manners.

“Children need to know why there are rules, not just that the rules need to be obeyed,” O’Farrill said. “In this class they learn that etiquette is there for safety reasons.”

O’Farrill teaches the children how to speak on the telephone, introduce themselves, eat at a dinner table and carry on a conversation.

“I tell the kids that first impressions are very important and that they must know what to do when they meet people,” O’Farrill said. “When they know what to do they are more confident, they don’t shy away from people.”

Von Bergen said he is excited to put his newfound manners into practice. “I’m happy because now I don’t have to worry about messing up when I meet people,” he said. “I know that when I meet somebody I should shake their hand, look into their eyes and try my best to remember their name.”

Idris Al-Oboudi, recreation services manager for the Manhattan Beach Parks and Recreation Department, said the success of the class is due to O’Farrill’s teaching methods.

” She makes it fun for the kids and that helps them to learn the rules of etiquette,” Al-Oboudi said. “She plays games with them, but every game that is played is a lesson in etiquette.”

One of O’Farrill’s favorite games is a lesson on how to have a conversation.

She rolls a small ball toward one of the children, says the child’s name and asks the child a question.  The child answers the question, then fields similar questions from the other children.  The rules are that the person asking the question must address the person by their name and make eye contact with them.

“People love to talk about themselves, so in order to start a good conversation and be polite it is important to ask people questions,” O’Farrill says.

Molly Zuckerman, 8 said the only part of the class she didn’t like was learning how to “walk like a lady.”

“We learned lots of other things about manners and how to eat but I don’t know why we had to practice the walking,” Zuckerman said. “We already know how to walk.”

At the end of the class the children are invited to a dinner to practice their new manners.

Pictured below: One of Maggie’s Students, Maggie O’Farrill, Idris Al-Oboudi

“The parents are always so pleased to see how well their children behave, how well they carry on a conversation and how well they eat at a dinner table,” O’Farrill said.

Richard Propster and his wife Mery registered their grandchildren Christopher, 11 and Madeleine, 7 for O’Farrill’s class and were impressed with the results.

“They knew which utensils to use and, if grandpa made a fauxpas, Madeleine told me what was the correct thing to do,” Propster said. “Since the kids have taken this class we have been able to take them to upscale restaurants.”